yesterday i posted this on my twitter
lately the thought has been bothering my mind. i've been raised in the middle of society with norms. and some of them talking about the idea of marriage. people said marriage is sacred; you need to possess certain preconditions to be eligible to get married; it's a huge responsibility; and so on.
but i think it's becoming.....errr....more complicated than it should be. what's the main point of a marriage: the unity of 2 individuals in love. so, why is it actually needed? as long as these 2 grown-up individuals have the commitment to be together, i don't think that marriage is essential anymore. if now we're talking about the risk, some said relationship based on commitment only is risky because one of the parties can just leave just like when a dating couple breaks up, so can they in a marriage. marriage doesn't always guarantee that the couple will stay together. there's a divorce. now let's see the advantage. in this case (the divorce), marriage is legally beneficial for couple with kids since with the marital status, law will arrange the child's rights. but it's for the kids. it has nothing to do with the couple. beneficial of course for one of the parties (let's say) who wish for the divisions of assets or possessions since they married a bloody filthy rich (but dumb) person.
furthermore, in this society, marriage is not that simple. a marriage needs to be done with huge ceremony where you'll be displayed and shakehand with hundreds of guests that probably 70% of them you barely know. this is because marriage is not only the unity of 2 individuals, but also the unity of 2 families, which makes it much bigger than that. i'm not against this idea but if it leads to your extended invites strangers to your wedding or intervenes the marriage life (which happens often), well i surely am. the big ceremony also costs a fortune. as a young wedded couple, the money is much better to be invested. why can't i just go to whatever the place called to sign a legal document stated i am married and say my vow?
well enough said, to me what is more essential are the togetherness and the bond. marriage is for the legal paperworks. my partner said marriage is the best options among the worsts. i'm writing this not that i fully oppose the idea of marriage, don't get me wrong, i'm even looking forward to having mine soon. just for the sake of the legality to live together under a roof with my partner :)
Titiiii!! Been a silent reader of your blog since last year,, don't know if you notice or not! :)
ReplyDeleteI like ur blog ti, always adore your toughts that really mature, not like meehh! Hehee..
Kapan mo nikaahh? Jangan lupa undang gw yaa! ;)
untung aku nggak pernah beranggapan marriage is a big thing,,,jadi karena sejak awal aku kurang nyaman dengan istilah pacaran, makanya aku menganggap marriage "cuma" sekedar pacaran. cuma bedanya "akad" nya bukan would you be my girlfriend tapi would you be my wife. Dan efeknya, persiapan pernikahanku nyantai bgt, cuma perlu waktu 2 bulan,,,ya emang bukan pesta besar2an, tapi udah lebih dari cukup...trus stlh menikah pun ya masih senyantai org pacaran, toh usia jg masih muda *ehem* blm pnya beban, skrg pun masih suka main kesana kesini ma si pacar in marriage dg santainya...haha begitulah,,,bener katamu ty,marriage is trully about mindset :)
ReplyDelete@meduu: wawww, i didn't notice.. thanks ya duu.. dan gw baca2 blog lo, seru juga.. it inspires me to write my happy list, hehe.. oya intern lo lama amat prasaan.. miss you.. kalo balik jkt bilang2 ya.. dan soal nikah gampanglah itu, tau2 ntar ada kabarnya deh, hehe..
ReplyDelete@mba wiwin: iya mba, menikah itu kan simpel sekali ya.. akad saja udah bisa bikin sah.. lama kelamaan orang2 bikin menikah jadi lebih sulit.. baguslah mba, ntar tak tiru supaya tetep pacaran walaupun sudah menikah, hehehe..